Poly Weekly

Matt Bullen and Terisa Greenan (of Family the web series) talk parenting in a poly situation

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements
PolyATL.com is a non-profit and free poly community site built for the Atlanta, GA area and the SE United States.

Sex, Sin and Zen: Buddhist Sex, from Polyamory, Porn, Power, and Paying for it, to Doing it with All the Lights on

Interview: Poly parenting
Matt Bullen and Terisa Greenan share their experiences on being poly with children and thoughts on explaining poly to kids.

• How their relationship and living situation is structured
• Dealing with the tough questions
• On calling partners “auntie” or “uncle”
• On the “it’s confusing” argument
• On deceiving your children as to the nature of your relationships
• Dealing with the kid asking, “who do you love more?”
• Online privacy for Matt and Vera’s child

If you haven’t already, check out their awesome production, Family the Web Series.

Happy Poly Moment
R shares a poly pride moment.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini d’Onofrio are Three Wise Women giving advice and insights at the event in San Rafael

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Topic: Three Wise Women
Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini d’Onofrio are Three Wise Women giving advice and insights at the event in San Rafael

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Violet Blue gave a helluva talk on sex-positive education and emerging technology at Gnomedex. I missed it, myself, but delighted to see her kick ass in front of an audience primarily of tech geeks, not sex educators:

Joreth, Pepper and Franklin discuss what’s “OK” in poly

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Forked Tongue novel
• Study participants 18+ willing to fill out a questionnaire and do a saliva sample contact salivaresearch@umich.edu or 734-763-7121

Topic: What’s OK in poly?
Today’s topic is courtesy of Friggin’ Limey, who wrote in with the questions:

• Is it normal, or even OK, for me to feel the need to want to see someone else whenever my wife has a date with a lover?
• When she goes on a date I do ask her if they had sex or not. Does this sound reasonable?
• And from MinVanLib on Twitter: If the root of jealousy is insecurity, does one need to end the relationship to get secure first?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Joreth and Pepper interview Polina about her experiences as a poly teenager

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter or Facebook, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Poly Family Weekend has been cancelled.
• Need a briefing before your first media interview or event? Contact the Poly Media Association!

Interview: Poly Teenager Polina
Polina shares her thoughts with Joreth and Pepper about being a poly teenager.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Poly Family Weekend has been cancelled.
• Shine, a Burlesque Musical was fantastic—stay tuned to the end for the review!
• Orlando Poly will host a special workshop on Personality Types And Relationships at their August 1st meeting, 2:00 p.m. at the Center
• Poly Novel Threesome—read and review

Panel: Media Whoring at Sex 2.0, part 2
The Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0 last month in Seattle. In this panel, Cunning Minx, Danielle Sipple, Jasen Bartlett, maymay, Reid Mihalko and Veronica Monet discuss media strategies. Topics ranged from TV, radio, and print, to social networking and online media, to Twitter, to YouTube, to monitoring your presence online, to anything else that pops up! It was a lively discussion with this wide variety of media professionals.

View the panel video here.

Happy Poly Moment
Using the L Word.

Feedback
New to poly in Northern Virginia. Thanks to Marc, BS and Annie for donations!

Review: Shine, a Burlesque Musical
Shine was fantastic–review by Minx and Faust.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

This will eventually go into the Poly Weekly feed, but I couldn’t wait! Faust and I giggle and drool our review of Shine, a Burlesque Musical:

CLICK HERE FOR AUDIO REVIEW: Shine review

Want to help support the Wet Spots and this fabulous troupe of burlesque dancers in their shot at Broadway? Don’t see Shine tonight. Or tomorrow. Come on THURSDAY, JULY 15 and fill the house at the Theater Off Jackson so the producers of the world will see just how fabulous this show is and just how important the message of supporting ALL types of sexy is. Get your tickets here and COME SHAKE A TASSLE!

Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
• PolyCamp 2010 is August 26-29 Millersylvania state park with classes for people new to poly and discussion groups for those of us who have been around awhile, artistic workshops/classes, spiritual workshops, tribal interests (drumming and belly dancing), music and dancing, and more!
• Poly Family Weekend is Sept. 17-19 at the Atlanta Airport Crowne Plaza with guests Jessica Karels, Simon Deacon and yours truly!
• Shine, a Burlesque Musical is in Seattle, July 8-18 at the Theater off Jackson. Not only is this a sex-positive musical, it is a poly-positive musical. From some of the promo materials: “Count on the Wet Spots to twist the old love triangle story arc into some beautiful new poly-friendly configurations. Sort of like a macrame wall hanging. Made of sex!” Follow them on Twitter and join the Facebook page.

Panel: Media Whoring at Sex 2.0
The Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0 last month in Seattle. In this panel, Cunning Minx, Danielle Sipple, Jasen Bartlett, maymay, Reid Mihalko and Veronica Monet discuss media strategies. Topics ranged from TV, radio, and print, to social networking and online media, to Twitter, to YouTube, to monitoring your presence online, to anything else that pops up! It was a lively discussion with this wide variety of media professionals.

View the panel video here.

Thank you!
Thanks to Slydder and Brendan for the donations this week!

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

The Media Whoring panel from Sex 2.0 last month in Seattle. In this panel, Cunning Minx, Danielle Sipple, Jasen Bartlett, maymay, Reid Mihalko and Veronica Monet will discuss media strategies. Topics ranged from TV, radio, and print, to social networking and online media, to Twitter, to YouTube, to monitoring your presence online, to anything else that pops up! It was a lively discussion with this wide variety of sexy, smart media professionals.

Sex 2.0 – Media Whoring – Tips from the Pros from Castle Megastore on Vimeo.

Quintus shares tales from the front of poly organizing and the secrets of what Poly Camp is really like

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
• PolyCamp 2010 is August 26-29 Millersylvania state park with classes for people new to poly and discussion groups for those of us who have been around awhile, artistic workshops/classes, spiritual workshops, tribal interests (drumming and belly dancing), music and dancing, and more!
• Poly Family Weekend is Sept. 17-19 at the Atlanta Airport Crowne Plaza with guests Jessica Karels, Simon Deacon and yours truly!
• Shine, a Burlesque Musical is in Seattle, July 8-18 at the Theater off Jackson. Not only is this a sex-positive musical, it is a poly-positive musical. From some of the promo materials: “Count on the Wet Spots to twist the old love triangle story arc into some beautiful new poly-friendly configurations. Sort of like a macrame wall hanging. Made of sex!” Follow them on Twitter and join the Facebook page.

Interview: Quintus demystifies Poly Camp
Quintus (who by the way is quite hot) joined us to talk about what Poly Camp will be like in August and also about his own poly family

Feedback

• Annie on eHarmony
• Jamie’s Happy Poly Moment—on shared pain
• Rob on Poly Weekly 242: Modern Poly and the age gap with poly people

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Jessica Karels shares the secret of founding and running Modern Poly

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
• PolyCamp 2010 is August 26-29 Millersylvania state park with classes for people new to poly and discussion groups for those of us who have been around awhile, artistic workshops/classes, spiritual workshops, tribal interests (drumming and belly dancing), music and dancing, and more!
• Poly Family Weekend is Sept. 17-19 at the Atlanta Airport Crowne Plaza with guests Jessica Karels, Simon Deacon and yours truly!

Interview: Jessica Karels of Modern Poly
Jessica Karels took time out of her busy schedule at Sex 2.0 to chat with us about poly activism, poly leadership and Modern Poly

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

MayMay and Emma of Kink on Tap give away a Poly Camp Too weekend

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Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
• If you’d like to pitch in for my airfare to emcee the event, visit the tip jar at http://www.polyweekly.com–and thanks to Mark, Alan, Chris and XX for the donations so far!
• Twitter or email polyweekly@gmail.com if you’d like to beta test the Android app. Use subject header “Android app”—thank you!

Interview: MayMay and Emma of Kink on Tap
MayMay and Emma offer to give away a prize: two tickets to PolyCamp Too for July 9-12 near Vancouver. To enter, visit and leave a comment saying why you want to go to this great poly camping event BEFORE June 21, and you’ll be entered to win!

MayMay and Emma host Kink on Tap, a podcast recorded live every Sunday evening and covering topics relating to sexual freedom, sexual moeurs and the sex-positive community.

Vagazzling: pro or con?

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Podcast novelist J.D. Sawyer shares his mojo surrounding his country house mystery podcast novel, Down from Ten.

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Three Wise Women event is Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio on July 3, 11:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m. in San Rafael, CA
• If you’d like to pitch in for my airfare to emcee the event, visit the tip jar at www.polyweekly.com–and thanks to AW for the first donation!

Interview: J. D. Sawyer
J.D. Sawyer, podcast novelist extraordinaire, talks about the hot sex… um… “poly themes” in his country house mystery podcast novel, Down from Ten.

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Sex 2.0 was May 22-23 in Seattle. Stay tuned to hear the Media Whoring panel
• Contact the Poly Media Association for tips before speaking to the media about poly; email info@polymediaassocation.com

Interview: being a poly teenager
Josh, now 20, talks with Joreth and Minx about what it was like to explore and identify as polyamorous as a teenager (blame it on Heinlein).

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

Download the mp3 directly

Introduction and host chat
Intro, under-18 warning and re-direction to http://www.scarleteen.com; friend us on Twitter and answer questions about what you want on the show, call 206-202-POLY with comments or discuss your own topics at the forums.

Announcements

• Sex 2.0 was May 22-23 in Seattle!
• Three Wise Women event with Dossie Easton, Deborah Anapol and Serena Anderlini-d’Onofrio July 3 in San Rafael
• J.D. Sawyer‘s free podcast novel, Down from Ten, has fun poly themes

User-generated audio: Happy Poly Moments

• Jacob from Texas wants to know if there is a term for metamours getting along well
• Benny shares a Happy Poly Moment
• Tom asks about organizing an LLC
• Wolfsbane shares a Highlander-oriented Happy Poly Moment
• Comments on Poly Weekly 228 on atheism
• Graydancer’s Happy Poly Moment
• John on non-verbal communication
• Leaky_Pen calling live from a Happy Poly Moment!
• Correction to Poly Weekly 236 on the Family

Feedback

• Darin on Eharmony and poly
• Niko on monogamy/cheating

Wrap-up
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 206-202-POLY. And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at polyweekly.libsyn.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Want Poly Weekly for your very own? Get the Best of Poly Weekly collection from PodDisc.com

Our intro and outro music is courtesy of Pacemaker Jane, “Good Suspicions.”

How long has it been since Poly Weekly has given away a prize? Forever!

Now, thanks to the generosity of MayMay and Emma, you can win a weekend for two at Polycamp Too in Nainaimo, B.C., Canada, July 9-12.

Theme of Weekend: The Polyamorist’s Tool Kit

Friday July 9 (check in anytime after 2:00pm) to Mon July 12 (check out 11:00 am)
Location: Living Forest RV & Campgrounds, Nanaimo, BC

There will be workshop sessions, children & youth activities, a house concert, and a Poetry Slam (author’s reading) this year! There are only 25 campsites available in our group camping area. There’s running water, electricity and WiFi. There is a group shelter area where most events will be held. It’s a great time every year – don’t miss out!!

Want to win a pair of tickets to this weekend, a $170 value? Just write a comment below saying why you think you should be the one to go. We’ll draw a winner from the entries on MONDAY JUNE 21, so be sure to post your winning comment by then!

This year, ShibariCon was a fantastically exhausting experience! I almost didn’t go–too much work to do, and too many mundane tasks relating to some real estate I still own in the area. Grudgingly, I admitted that OK, I’ve committed to volunteer; of course I’ll go. But I won’t have fun.

And when I arrived, something changed. All the alienation I’d been feeling due to Seattle’s famous chilly reception melted away. It melted in the warm hugs of friends I was genuinely happy to see and who were genuinely happy to see me. For the first time in over a year, I felt like I belonged in the scene. Doubts, fears and insecurities melted away in the face of catching up with old friends and making new ones. I became the classic Minx, happy, bouncy and ready to have some fun.

I don’t want to be all cheesy and tell you not to be afraid of going to a conference alone. It still sucks to do that, and it’s still hard to try to connect with people in a weekend setting when you’re flying solo. You’ll still get turned down or blown off for scenes; I know I did and was. But my experience ended up being so deliciously positive that I want to share that joy, just in case it might inspire bravery the next time you fly solo at an event.

Stuff I Learned at ShibariCon 2010

• I do belong here. The only one thinking otherwise was me.
• When I am my own best self, wonderful things happen. And when I feel at home and welcomed, I am my own best self. Self-doubt is what kills the confidence, and without confidence, nothing is fun.
• Scheduling at a con is hard/tricky. Cut yourself and your play partners some slack.
• Don’t take it personally. Instead, find a way to take care of yourself that involves sharing your pain (and joy) with others.
• Hide your crazy. But let little bits show in fits of controlled vulnerability. A controlled burn, if you will.
• Never compare yourself to others in any way. Instead, focus on what is making today awesome for you. If you close your eyes and feel a lack of awesome, put your finger on why, and then go ask for that.
• Geek negotiation tip: if you’re unsure of where to start but you know you want to play, instead of asking a person for a scene or play, ask trusted friends whom they would recommend for play who might be free tonight.
• Give your cell phone # to hot guys/girls so they can text you. (Outside the con space, of course)
• Love yourself. Love your kink. Be fascinated by others’ kink.

All of this has me thinking about teaching a ShibariCon for Newbies/Solos class next year, with specific activities designed to help people check their emotional baggage at the door and have the confidence to have fun. Wouldn’t that be a GREAT way to start a con?

From Graydancer‘s session at Sex 2.0:

• “When you come out, you make yourself vulnerable to disapproval, criticism, and discrimination.” -Pat Califia
• Coming out to partner/children: lead your children down a critical thinking path to determine where prejudices and biases come from
• Downside of coming out to children: you become a resource for thing like anal sex
• Best response from a family member: “I don’t approve of it, but I can see why you do it.”
• Worst response from a family member: “You’re dumb.”
• Tip: have at least one token vanilla friend
• Great case study of someone who was out at work: Jack McGeorge, the openly kinky weapons inspector. When opponents tried to discredit him, his boss Hans Blix stood up for him and refused to accept his resignation
• YKIOK = “your kink is OK”–a response Graydancer got when he came out at work
• Others benefit from your living out loud: if someone has come out to a person before, it’s more likely that person will be more accepting/familiar with the idea the next time
• What catalyzes change? Pride, self-esteem, self-disclosure
• Sex-negative=don’t do anything to be ashamed of. Sex-positive: don’t be ashamed of the things you do

Notes from Ducky Dolittle’s session at Sex 2.0:

• Ducky started doing peep shows on 42nd Street and spent a lot of time being ashamed of her work. Then she met Annie Sprinkle and decided to become an educator. Got her GED and set out to create an army of sex educators to invade the world.
• Ducky talks money: sex educators need to talk to each other to compare notes on what and how they were paid for certain gigs and share notes about the most reliable clients
• It’s on sex educators to create a standard that others can look up to: we need accreditation
• The trials of choosing a sponsor–we need to get paid for our speaking (and no one makes money from a book) but we don’t always get to choose each toy that the sponsors promote. What do you think of Sue Johanson or Dr. Ruth? The point: have a critical eye to content and talk to other educators.
• Dr. Ruth still maintains a private practice three days a week–very few can make a full-time salary as a sex educator
• “The number one way we learn anything in life is through gossip.” We all have the ability to be great sex educators if we take the time to listen to others.
• Who is your favorite sex educator and why? Answering these questions will help guide your path as a sex educator. Who came up in the session as fave educators: Heather Corinna, Betty Dodson, Dan Savage