Poly Weekly

What are the best apps for poly folks?

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1:00 Announcements

• Care and feeding of your extrovert
• Guy from Madison, WI is running a Kickstarter campaign (with gifts of consent panties!) for a poly web series
• A group in New Zealand is fighting for legal recognition of poly marriage
• Kimchi Cuddles is creating a fantastic new poly comic on Tumblr!

10:50 Topic: There’s an App for That

• Suggested poly apps from listeners: Google Calendar, OK Cupid, Facebook, SnapChat, Words with Friends, Skype, Zello, a long-range walkie-talkie app; What’s App, a way to consolidate chats with friends and lovers with no SMS charges or logging into various platforms
• Apps I found in the iTunes app store: My marriage coach; Sex Tracker; Couple
• What we want to develop: a positive feedback relationship app to give points to your loved ones when they are awesome. Talented developers interested in helping out contact LustyGuy on FetLife.

23:30 Happy Poly Moment

Paul shares a moment of recognizing an opportunity to pamper his Mistress.

25:15 Feedback

Marshe wrote in to explain Culture Warrior is an evangelical term referring to Christians who feel the U.S. mainstream culture is too secular and should be battled against.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

How much sex is “normal” in a committed relationship?

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2:00 Announcements

• Erotic Awards Night at the Zoo are May 17; Facebook event
• Christopher Ryan, author of Sex at Dawn, has set up a new poly forum/dating site
• User manual for vanilla audience

5:00 Topic: How often do normal people have sex?

• Wall Street Journal article posed the question and highlighted a couple with differing sexual needs
• Average vs normal amount of sex, quoting the Kinsey study
• A Durex study citing the quality of sex over frequency, and also reported by the Huffington Post, which pulled out the factoid that simultaneous orgasm being unlikely

24:00 Our advice for good sex:

1. Talk about what you want and what you need; know the difference.
2. Be willing to hear “no” and/or negotiate a counter offer.
3. Be open to your partner’s/partners’ wants, needs and fantasies. Don’t shut the door before educating yourself.
4. Get educated. Treat sex like any other physical skill.
5. Consider your sexual health a lifelong endeavor and never complete.

33:00 Feedback

Jordy shares her concerns that couples are being bashed in our attempts to create awareness of couple privilege. Note: Minx accidentally referred to Jordy as “he.” And damn LustyGuy for letting me do it! Sorry, Jordy! You’re pretty.

37:00 Thank you

Thanks to Eric and Benjamin for their donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Where do we sit on the media hype cycle for polyamory?

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1:00 Topic: Where are we on the poly hype cycle?

The fabulous Sierra Black wrote a response to Andrea Zanin’s polynormativity post and pondered how to be more inclusive in our media representations. Minx suggests that polyamory is in the rising phase of the hype cycle and suffering from inflated expectations.

Other links: Jenny Block’s book Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage

Pedestrian Polyamory podcast

19:25 Happy Poly Moment

S shares a moment that is not especially happy but when polyamory’s benefits and love shine.

22:00 Thank you

Thanks to Michael for his donations this week! Plus, app subscribers and Poly Weekly Playmates got a little something extra last week. Thank you for supporting PW!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

The study, finally! How much does penis size matter?

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1:00 Topic: Does penis size matter?

An Australian researcher finally did a study matching the relevance of penis size as a factor in combination with other physical factors for physical attractiveness. Does it matter?

Other headlines citing the study:

• Size Does Matter: Study Shows Women Judge Male Attractiveness by Penis Size
• Evolution May Have Driven Humans Towards Bigger Penis Sizes
• Penis size study finds women find men with big genitals more attractive

11:40  Happy Poly Moment

E shares a great story of transition of a partner moving from “hell no” to “this is cool”

13:10 Feedback

• Lynn shares feedback on the HSV episode that made it much easier to avoid the shame spiral.
• ArcticWolf shares thoughts on the stats on the poly marriage failure rate

Thank you

Thanks to Joseph, Andrew, Meg and Emma for their donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

When a poly family swaps wives with a right-wing family on a reality TV show, who comes off better?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

• LustyGuy is cohosting!

2:00 Topic: Polyamory on Wife Swap

On the reality TV show Wife Swamp, a polyamorous family swapped wives (not sexual, just lifestyle) with a right-wing religious family. Who came off better? Across the board, reviewers agree it was the poly family!

• Alan’s Poly in the Media post
• Watch the full episode here
• Read about Rush Limbaugh whining about right wingers being unfairly portrayed in the media!
• Comments on the PW Facebook page show that the show is already opening up conversations about polyamory!

31:50 Happy Poly Moment

Dominic from Wisconsin calls in to share a moment in which life rewards courage!

35:00 Feedback: Episode 350

• AggieSez calls in to let us know about unmarried equality
• Frank writes in to ask why there are any tax benefits at all to marriage
• Jason comments that we should have marriage be defined by the individuals involved, not the government
• S shares her situation in which she lives with partners and then married one, which brought up conflicting emotions regarding the other relationship. No answers, but she poses some great questions.
• Edward reminds us about marriage in the Roman Empire.

46:00 Thank you

Thanks to Marshall, Isabelle, Denise and Kerra for their donations this week!

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Marketing content strategy for sex positive educators and activists

Thanks to everyone who attended and participated in this session at CatalystCon East. What a great and engaged crowd! I had a great time sharing with and learning from you all.

Is there a polynormative model in the media? And if so, what issues can that create for poly newbies?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

• Had a great time at Conflation; thanks to everyone for making us feel relaxed and welcome!
• Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
• Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

Interview: Andrea Zanin on polynormativity

Andrea’s longish essay on the problem with polynormativity is here. You can find Andrea’s essays on her Sex Geek blog.

Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Everything you need to know about prostate pleasure and health (well, some of it, anyway)

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

• Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
• Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
• Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

2:00 Interview: Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian talk about their new book, Prostate Pleasure and Health: why they wrote this book; that enjoying this wonderful pleasure doesn’t make you gay; how to prepare for prostate and anal play; and a ton of other stuff you never knew until now!

• They met at Good Vibrations
• Why do we need a book on prostate pleasure? There wasn’t one!

  Charlie Glickman and Aislinn Emirzian

• Key prostate advice: Stroke, don’t poke.
• What is the prostate?  Part of the male reproductive anatomy that produces semen, and many men find that prostate massage creates a sensation similar to ejaculation.
• Does prostate stimulation make you gay? No. Does it make you a bottom? No. It can be powerful to be fully present in your masculinity and enjoy receiving.
• 13:00 Why is prostate stimulation so pleasurable? We’re not sure, but perhaps the autonomic nerves (involved in ejaculation) are being stimulated.
• 18:30 Tip for anal penetration: relaxation, communication and lubrication!
• The day I found my ass; The zen of anal play
• 24:35 Does prostate massage have health benefits?
• Twitter and Facebook

32:45 Happy Poly Moment

Some Guy in Bristol, England shares a texting moment that WOULD have gone awry, had he not been transparently poly!

34:15 Thanks

To Craig for his generous donation this week!

 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Is legalization of poly marriage worth the battle?

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

• I will be hosting a poly panel and helping to emcee at Conflation in Saint Louis February 22-24
• Also a Write Your Own User Manual session followed by a meet and greet at Shameless Grounds coffee shop on Sunday, February 24th at 7:00 PM. Come join us! Calendar info
• Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
• Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
• Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

6:00 Topic: should we fight for legalization of poly marriage?

Mistress Matisse’s article on the legalization of poly marriage debate: You May Now Kiss the Bride and the Other Bride and the Other Bride and the Other Groom: Why Poly Marriage Is Never Going to Happen

What are your thoughts on fighting to legalize poly marriage? Do you care? Would you fight for it for the next 20 years like the gays did?

17:50 Happy Poly Moment

Vicki shares a fun snogging-oriented happy poly moment

19:45 Feedback

• CL wrote in to quote a study on how long it actually takes to create a habit. Turns out, it’s not the oft-quoted 21 days, but anywhere from 21 to 84 days, depending on the habit. Source: Author: Jeremy Dean; Title: Making Habits, Breaking Habits; Publisher: Da Capo Press; Date: Copyright 2013 by Jeremy Dean; Pages: 3-7
• Space Hippie Geek wrote in to respond to episode 300 on couple privilege and took issue with three points:
  • conflating a triad and a vee (in a vee there is no romantic relationship between two of the partners)
  • pointing out (quite rightly) that, “don’t only want to feel as if I’m being added onto an established family. I also want to feel that my boyfriend is joining my family. Even if I don’t have another partners, and am not close to my birth family. Even just by myself, I am a family, a household. I have my own traditions, customs, and ways of doing things.”
  • While there are benefits to having everyone talk together, communicating as a group isn’t always necessary.
  • Mitch advocates for my voice not being used for the proliferation of toxic sludge

29:45  Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Tales of mono-poly ins and outs with Mollena Williams

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Note: we are still experiencing technical difficulties with posting episode 350. That file will post as soon as the issues are discerned and corrected. In the meantime, enjoy Mo!

1:00 Announcements and host chat

• Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
• Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
• Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations!

3:30 Interview: Mollena Williams on her mono-poly relationship

What worked—and didn’t—in Mollena’s last mono-poly D/s relationship. Lessons learned and insights from the trenches. Find her site at Mollena or as Mollena on FetLife and Facebook.

35:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!

Considering polyamory? Kathy Labriola shares three basic poly relationship models

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1:00 Announcements and host chat

• Want to help develop a poly kid’s book? Michael has started a Facebook page for suggestions and crowdsourcing
• I will be hosting a poly panel and helping to emcee at Conflation in Saint Louis Febrary 22-24
• Also a Write Your Own User Manual session followed by a meet and greet at Shameless Grounds coffee shop on Sunday, February 24th at 7:00 PM. Come join us! Calendar info
• Hidden Social: Where Sexual Variants Gather Online session at SXSWi on Sunday, March 10, 3:30 PM with Herb Coleman, Adjunct Professor of Psychology at UT Austin ( #hiddensoc )
• Content Creation for the Online Activist on Sunday, March 17th at 10:30 AM in D.C. at CatalystCon ( #ccon )
• Want to help send Minx to SXSWi and CatalystCon this year? We just need 10 $96 donations so I can eat! And we LOVE $69 and $96 donations

12:20 Interview: Kathy Labriola on poly relationship models

Kathy Labriola, counselor, nurse and author of Love in Abundance: a Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships, shares her insights on different relationship models for polyamory.

40:20 Happy Poly Moment

M shares an OK Cupid happy poly moment

41:30 Feedback

Jane shares her insights on herpes: the poison ivy of the relationship world. Just a minor inconvenience, not the scarring STI it’s made out to be.

45:20 Thank you

Thanks to Kathleen for her donation and welcome I to the Poly Weekly Playmates!

46:00 Wrap up

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Email polyweekly@gmail.com or call the listener comment line at 802-505-POLY (our new number!). And hey, why not attach an audio comment to that email? Check out PolyWeekly at Blubrry.com. Share this with a friend or write an iTunes review!