Series Disclaimer: This series is the result of conversations that I’ve had with fellow poly leaders, mixed with my own thoughts, experiences, and observations. While it seems that a lot of us have similar experiences and thoughts, these writings do not represent the beliefs of poly leaders as a whole.  These writings are not meant to target specific individuals or organizations, but instead show how “the system” is defunct and needs a lot of TLC and fixing.

Sanja Gjenero @ SXC.hu

From what I’ve seen on a local level and learned through discussions with my peers, people that identify as polyamorous fall into one of two categories:

• Those that are motivated to actively contribute to “poly”, whether it’s on a local or national level
• Those that aren’t

Once we accept this, everything else fits into place.

Series Disclaimer: This series is the result of conversations that I’ve had with fellow poly leaders, mixed with my own thoughts, experiences, and observations. While it seems that a lot of us have similar experiences and thoughts, these writings do not represent the beliefs of poly leaders as a whole.  These writings are not meant to target specific individuals or organizations, but instead show how “the system” is defunct and needs a lot of TLC and fixing.

In my most recent posts, I applied the business rule of 80/20 to the polyamory community, both in what percentage of people within an organization are actively involved in events, as well as what percentage of that sub-group (20% of the 20%) do the majority of the volunteer work. I also provided my own theories as to why this subset of a subset – those that end up with the label of “leader” – feels compelled to push themselves to the point of burnout to provide for the larger group.

One of the reasons why the core group of volunteers, the leaders of the polyamory organization, push themselves on how much they contribute is a sense of obligation towards providing for their community.

Today I will challenge the belief that an organization of 100+ members on a bulletin board or a large meetup group  qualifies as a community.

Series Disclaimer: This series is the result of conversations that I’ve had with fellow poly leaders, mixed with my own thoughts, experiences, and observations. While it seems that a lot of us have similar experiences and thoughts, these writings do not represent the beliefs of poly leaders as a whole.  These writings are not meant to target specific individuals or organizations, but instead show how “the system” is defunct and needs a lot of TLC and fixing.

In the past few posts I discussed what changes need to be made both on a legislative and social front in order for poly people to be able to be “out” about their lifestyle choices (if they so choose), with less ramifications than what would happen if they were to “out” themselves today.

Today I will discuss how we’re currently going about doing that – as well as some potential problems with the status quo.

When I was promoting my “Let’s Get Stuff Done” Con, one of my friends took my promo copy and forwarded it to a couple of local lists.  Apparently drama ensued as some of the people balked at the notion of developing “leaders” within polyamory groups, or within the movement at large.  On another list that I’m involved with, a similar story unfolded where someone who was a role model within her own community shunned the label of “leader”.

I’m interested in knowing why that is, especially since I strongly believe that poly people need to have community leaders if we’re going to take our “movement” to the next level.

This led me to start writing down my thoughts on how changing the status quo would benefit poly people as a whole, even though most poly people choose not to participate. I also started thinking about the current organizing efforts, and why progression towards our goals as a movement have been so damn slow.

P.S.: If you are easily offended by anything that challenges or criticizes the status-quo, please come back around August 30th. At that time, I will post the finale of this series, which outlines recommended steps on how to be a better leader.

Additional Disclaimer: This series is the result of conversations that I’ve had with fellow poly leaders, mixed with my own thoughts, experiences, and observations. While it seems that a lot of us have similar experiences and thoughts, these writings do not represent the beliefs of poly leaders as a whole.  These writings are not meant to target specific individuals or organizations, but instead show how “the system” is defunct and needs a lot of TLC and fixing.

I was shocked when I first learned about mega-churches (congregations with 4,000-10,000+ parishioners).  I had difficulty understanding how members of the church were able to receive the support that they needed when they were one among a sea of people.  I also wondered if such a large group could actually become a cohesive community.

The solution was a very simple one.  The model that I will present here is one to consider when seeking ways to build support for larger groups, whether it’s a growing polyamory organization in one city or the polyamory community at-large.